Anyone who is close to me knows about my living situation right now. Since Christmas things have been...not so happy...yeah that's how I will put it.
I feel like I am an easy person to get along with and I can put up with a lot. Things that have been happening the last 3 months have REALLY been testing that theory of mine. As a youngest child, I was "born to argue!"...and I live up to that! If I "know" you are wrong or if I feel strongly about something, I wont budge until the other person does. There are things in my life that I feel VERY strongly about and I will do what it takes to get people to respect that.
I feel like I am a VERY giving person, sometimes people tell me I give too much to others and not enough to myself. Honestly, I would not be happy if I spent all my time and money on myself...maybe I would be married by now if I spent a little more time on me...maybe not ;). When I give things to people I don't EVER ask for anything in return....just respect and maybe a little gratitude. I am recently being pushed to the edge with this concept and sometimes feel like enough is enough!!!
Am I the selfish, inconsiderate "5-year-old" she says I am?? Do people honestly think I do things so I can stand up and say "but remember when I did this for you?"....Words are convincing and they say actions speak louder than words....when is enough enough????
I KNOW the Lord knew what He was doing when He placed us with our families. Siblings and parents help prepare us for people we will come in contact with and people we will one day marry. My favorite quote over the last few months has been "When Life Throws You Lemons...MAKE LEMONADE!!!" Now I am beginnging to think, how much lemonade do I need to make AND drink before she realizes, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?!? Everyone I talk to about my "situation" says they would have thrown in the towel a long time ago!! What does that say about me?? Am I a pushover? Am I a pansy that can't stand up for herself? OR is this really just another test that is preparing me for the person that I will spend eternity with?? If it's the last one, I am happy single!!!!! haha
Seriously though!!! How can you say you feel one way one day, but the minute the situation is not benefiting YOU 100%, you flip around and act as though the whole world is crushing down on you???
With past events, not only in my family but in families close to me...I have come to realize that life is too short to waste it on people that don't care! It's too short to live thinking "what would have happened if..." I'm tired of "being the bigger person"!!! I want to be the one that "throws the towel in" and walks away from it her, the one that shoots the lemons as they come at my head instead of grabbing them and offering up my lemonade! When is enough enough in these situations???
Sorry, I just needed to vent...sometimes when you talk to people about these things, their eyes start to glaze over and you know they really aren't hearing you although they pretend to be listening. At least here if you don't want to know, you can stop reading lol...at least I got it out from twirling around in my head and out in the open so I'm not stressing out about it.
Thank you if you made it this far...means alot to me when people care!!!
7 comments:
This may sound "goody goody" but the best way to know when to throw in the towel is prayer. The Man Upstairs knows both of you and what's best for the whole situation. Check in with Him and see what he says. Then, move ahead in whatever direction He leads. Good luck!
I definitely agree that venting helps when you are really really frustrated. I don't really know what you are talking about specifically but is sounds like you have a CRAPPY roommate. I am sorry that totally stinks. I can't tell you what to do but to me it sounds like you are ready to throw in the towel. I think it would be a big relief and weight off of your shoulders. You really just need to do what is best for you and I am sure you already know. I really hope everything goes well with this. Maybe I can see you when I come, it's a week from tomorrow. Love ya Bre!
Your right sometimes life hands you lemons...but other times life pulls down your pants runs a sander across your naked butt then pours lemon juice on your raw abdaded rearend! In that case a cool citrus drink wouldnt really help now whould it! (haha)
A special thanks to american greeting cards for supplying the every so eligant quote!
shannon, Thanks it is too true!!!
mich, i hope everything goes well too!! i am excited that your coming!! i hope ill get to see you too!
court, i seriously just laughed out loud sitting at my desk at work! lol thanks for that!
I just gotta say AMEN to Courtney's comment! I'm not sure exactly why life has to be crappy sometimes, oh yeah, so we'll LEARN something, I guess. Anyway, it's no fun going through these hard life experiences but hopefully you will be able to look back on it and feel like you learned something. But you shouldn't feel like you have to be a pushover. By the way, I think you are a very giving person. We so very much appreciated you watching our kids when we were down there (and hopefully it wasn't toooo bad). Thanks a million.
LOL to Courtney's comment!! Don't let people take advantage of you. I know you can argue and stick up for yourself, it used to drive me CRAZY sometimes! So stick to that. Do what you feel is best. Pray about it, and pray for strength and courage to do what you feel needs to be done. YOU CON DO EET!
Get it out girl. Blogging is the best therapy in my opinion. Yea. My advice on this particular situation is get it over with. Do what you know you need to do. Ugh. I hate feeling that way. But, you will be happier!!!
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